…I’m Sorry, but I disagree.

Belief In Love

I experience love every day. I am the lucky one. But what does it mean to believe in love? Belief in love shows us the good in others. It helps us look on the bright side. It motivates and inspires. Believing in love propels us forward. There are so many types and facets of love, but most of all, we need to learn how to love, to understand that love should be felt, not just spoken. One day, a customer was on his way out of the market and said, “See you soon, I love you.” At the same time, a brand-new customer walked through the door. They witnessed the sentiment and exclaimed, “Wow, do all your customers say I love you?”

I use the words “I love you” often.

Years ago, a friend mentioned the famous line from the movie “Love Story” (1970), based on the book by Eric Segal, which depicted two young people, very much in love, who faced conflict and tragedy. Ultimately, the famous line “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” was meant to convey deep love and an undying connection, but it never felt right to me. I couldn’t help but feel like it was written backwards. In my mind, Love means learning to say you’re sorry. We are human, we all make mistakes, we say things wrong, we do things wrong. It’s Okay. But we must learn to say I’m sorry. Believing in love means knowing when to admit you are wrong or when you have hurt someone. I think we need to start redefining the word love and the phrase “I’m Sorry”. If it were my movie, I’d like the line to read: “Saying you’re sorry means you love someone.” Obviously, it’s not as sensational a phrase, but real love isn’t sensational. Real love should be a part of every day. When someone loves you back, you will feel it, hear it, and see it. Love is an action. Love is reciprocal.

In terms of learning about love, it all starts at home, with our families, with our children.

Our children and teens are watching our every move. It’s the way they learn and grow. Modeling our behavior, using our words, our gestures, and our thoughts. The problem arises when we ourselves forget the true meaning of the words we speak or the actions we exhibit. Love is an action. It shows patience; it teaches by correcting mistakes; it models by slowing down; it’s felt by making the time. Love is difficult, but in the end, Love is worth it. Love is the answer.

This February, I challenge you to take a step back. Say no to extra commitments, say yes to your family. Be at home, with the ones who are your most cherished circle of love. Take a getaway with your significant other to unwind and have a true conversation, away from the digital world we are tethered to. Make a physical phone call instead of texting, use FaceTime if necessary, and, if your loved ones live close enough, take a trip over to their place to see them or invite them to your home. After all, Love is all we really need.

Looking for some good reading that will open your eyes to the effects of the digital world on you, your children, your family, and your friends? I’m reading these two New York Times best-sellers written by Sherry Turkle. Notice the publish date, I wonder how much our worlds have changed in the time since these books were written?

Alone Together, Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, (2011) Sherry Turkle, Hachette Book Group

Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, Sherry Turkle (2016) Penguin Books

Happy February, Friends, Sending you much love, always! Chowfancy!